Monday, August 24, 2009

Emotional Self-torture!

Have you felt cheated? sad? embarrassed? If there is a person who says "No" to that first sentence, then it is simply a lie to the self; just a classic case of 'A Person in a State of Denial'. But some people can get past those moments gracefully. Now you might wonder, 'How can someone be graceful about an embarrassing moment?' . True! One gets embarrassed and then its an embarrassing moment. But how one is able to manage out of that moment mentally is the most important thing. Some people just brush it off while some cry over it for days, weeks or even months. To the people who are of the latter kind the story below is really to be taken seriously. As for the others, it is meagre proof that brushing off is good.

The Pretty Lady


Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. "How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.

All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his own head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no indication to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further; he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite.

The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"

Moral : This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put it down or let go of the baggage.

So, does all such moments leave us without an impact? No. Thats not possibly possible. I am just trying to say that one must learn from it. Analyse what will help in saving us from being in the exact same situation again. Work for it. But just don't let it hurt you more than it should. After all, everyone has their own painful moments of embarrassment, sorrow, deceit and more.


Vittaldas Prabhu said...

More of being an embarrassing situation, this is more carrying the baggage and not letting go. Your gist of the situation hit me right where it should. So many times I get angry at something, instead of talking it out and letting I go I prefer to keep it with me. The emotions and anger bottle up, and when it is boiling point it bursts out. And bottled up emotions that cause an outburst cause a lot of people to be hurt, oneself and dear ones as well.


Vimmi said...

Very true da.. Ther are many things i carry in me which i dont know how to let it out. I keep it within myself and thinking about it makes me even worse and loose myself. And when it reaches its limit I do something very Stupid and hurt people.. Good ExampleÖ

IdleMind said...

Oh, man's trials with his anger ... and frustrations. This was well-narrated. And in the end, the old monk did show his wisdom.

This goes to prove how we keep exaggerating our minor irritations just to publicize our discontent. Life's little irritants should not cause so much discomfort so as to carry it along for long.

And who better teacher than a Zen monk! Wonderful!!

Divya said...

thanks guys

Vittaldas Prabhu said...

@IdleMind - Very well said. And your words are something I totally agree on and I need to work on the part of letting go. It is important to stay calm and not wash one's dirty linens in public.